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I started reading to my little one while he was still in the NICU. There are so many benefits to reading with your child from the infant stage through age 14. You can find a list of benefits in last week's post. Below I am sharing tips to make reading fun and enjoyable for you and your infant.


According to the National Education Association (NEA), Reading Rockets, and Kids Health parents should do the following when reading to an infant:


  1. Use reading time to snuggle (include a favorite blanket or toy if wanted)

  2. Use different voices and expressions

  3. Emphasize rhythm and rhymes

  4. Talk about the pictures in the book

  5. Make reading a habit, build it into your daily routine

  6. Read stories again and again - repetition is good for your little one to learn

  7. Choose baby-friendly books - bold, bright colors and high contrast images; cardboard and cloth books that are easy to handle for baby

  8. Read books your baby enjoys (watch them to see if they are enjoying the book, if they are not it is okay to stop reading and try a different book and/or time)

  9. Don't worry about reading the text exactly - stop and ask questions and make comments about the text and pictures - even if they can't respond! This is a good foundation for later reading skills

  10. Let your baby touch and grab the book - they are engaging in reading that is appropriate for their age

Remember to have fun. More than likely, your little one will have fun if you do - you are showing them that reading is enjoyable and worthwhile from an early age.


Remember Mama, you are doing a great job! You got this!

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How to find a daycare provider? Do your research, request tours, and ask lots of questions!

My family has recently been considering switching our childcare provider. I really did not do a lot of research to choose the one we are currently at and since it was mid-pandemic, most providers were not allowing tours. While our current childcare provider is fine, we are exploring options to make sure we are choosing a daycare that is the best fit for our family.


Are you considering starting your child in childcare? It can be scary leaving your child with someone you don't really know. But doing your research for a great child care center can help you feel comfortable when you go to drop off your little one.


Finding a great childcare provider is so important because the first few years of life are the most important years for our children's brain development. So you want to make sure the people and the environment your child is in all day are safe, nurturing, and full of play and learning.


Many daycares are now allowing tours again after putting them on hold during the pandemic. Going on a tour is important in addition to asking questions because you want to have the opportunity to see the facilities and observe interactions between staff and children, observe safety precautions, food storage, etc.


If you are thinking, but what do I look for? What questions should I ask? This post is for you! If you are wanting a printable version of the questions below to take with you on your tour, check out the printable PDF at the bottom of this post!


Finding a Licensed Daycare


The first step, make sure the provider you are considering is a licensed childcare provider.


Unfortunately, this part can be a bit more challenging to verify because it varies by state. You can look on your state's government website. Care.com has a handy tool to link to the correct resource by state.


I have found it pretty confusing in my state because there are a number of providers who are exempt from needing a license. I have found these ones are accredited by a third party. However, this has taken a bit of research, which of course takes quite a bit of time.


Questions to Ask on a Daycare Tour


I highly recommend requesting a daycare tour. The tour gives you an opportunity to see the environment your child will be in firsthand. (Online pictures can be deceiving!). While on the tour or before/after it is a good idea to ask a lot of questions in addition to observing the facility. Below I have compiled a list of questions that can be helpful to ask.


Scary Mommy and childcare.gov have excellent questions/resources for parents that I found while I was doing research for this post.



General Questions

  1. What qualifications and certifications do the teachers have? Do they participate in continuing education and/or professional development?

  2. What type of background checks do the staff go through?

  3. How many kids will be in the classroom?

  4. How many teachers and/or teaching assistants are in the classroom? At all times?

  5. How do you handle communication? How will I know what is going on throughout the day?

  6. When are you closed?

  7. What are your hours? What if one of us is running late?

  8. What are the procedures for drop-off and pick-up?

  9. What are the procedures for someone else (like a grandparent) picking up or dropping off?

  10. Do you allow parents to stop in?

  11. When is tuition due? How do I pay for it?

  12. Do you pro-rate tuition if my child is out for an extended period? (for example, due to illness or quarantine)

  13. What are we expected to provide? What do we need to bring in each day?

  14. Is there a dress code?

  15. Ask about their turnover with teachers. You want a place with low turnover.

  16. Ask if you can meet the teacher they will be with when they first start. That is the scariest time, and it will help you to know who they will be with all day. If they are not there, once you choose a facility, I would ask if you can meet them before the first day.

  17. Ask for a copy of their family handbook

  18. Ask for a copy of the classroom's daily schedule. Is there a balance of playtime, storytime, activity time, and nap time?

  19. Are there opportunities for families to be involved with the program?

  20. Are there events the children participate in during the school day? Are there events outside of school hours?

  21. Are there parent/teacher conferences at least twice per year?

  22. Do parents have the opportunity to speak with the teacher at drop off/pick up?

  23. If a teacher has concerns about a child, how do they share those with the parent?

  24. How does the program transition children to the next classroom?

  25. Do you take pictures during the day? Are they available to parents? How?


What are safe child-to-caregiver ratios? According to childcare.gov:

  • 0 - 12 months: 3 - 4 children per caregiver (maximum 6 - 8 children per group)

  • 12 - 23 months: 3 - 6 children per caregiver (maximum of 6 -12 children per group)

  • 2-year-olds: 4 - 6 children per caregiver (maximum 8 -12 children per group)

  • 3-to-5-year-olds: 6 - 10 children per caregiver (maximum 12 - 20 children per group)

Safety

  1. Are the children with the teacher at all times throughout the entire day? If not, who is with the children when the teacher is not there?

  2. Are the children monitored at all times, indoors and outdoors, and while sleeping?

  3. Are teachers trained in CPR? In First Aid?

  4. Are first aid kits readily available for all teachers?

  5. Where are medications stored?

  6. What are the safety and security policies?

  7. What are the safety and security policies for outside play time?

  8. How do they maintain furniture and equipment?

  9. How do you handle incidents that may arise during the day? (For example, if they get hurt, if they accidentally hurt another child, etc.)

  10. What are their procedures for emergency situations (tornado, fire, active shooter, etc.)? Do they practice their procedures?

Health & Wellness:

  1. Are your staff immunized?

  2. Is there an immunization requirement for children attending? How do families show proof?

  3. How often do they change diapers? What is the diapering process?

  4. What kind of nap schedule do they follow? How is nap time handled?

  5. What kind of feeding schedule?

  6. What is the procedure for sending in breast milk?

  7. How do they store milk and keep children's supplies separated?

  8. How often do they clean toys, materials, and furniture?

  9. What are the cleaning procedures?

  10. What are the handwashing procedures for staff? For children?

  11. Do they provide meals and snacks once applicable? What healthy guidelines do they follow for food?

  12. What if your child has an allergy, how do they handle that?

  13. Is this a nut-free facility?

  14. Will my child's meals (how much and what they ate) be part of what is communicated on a daily basis?

  15. How do they handle sicknesses? How do they prevent illness?

  16. Do you have a potty-training procedure when that time comes? Is there an age that potty training is required?

  17. How are challenging behaviors handled?

  18. What is the bullying policy?

  19. Does the program allow children to have screen time? If so, how is screen time utilized, and for how long?

  20. How are children comforted if needed? For example, if a child is upset when a parent leaves or when they are injured.



Learning Questions:

  1. What type of curriculum do they use?

  2. What type of "discipline" do they use?

  3. What kind of materials/toys/equipment do they have for kids to play with?

  4. How often do children get to play outside? What are the safety and security policies for outside?

  5. What type of support is offered for children with learning delays or disabilities?

  6. How do they support social and emotional development?

  7. How do they support cognitive/executive function development?

  8. How do teachers encourage children to solve their own problems?

  9. How do teachers encourage language and physical development?

  10. How do teachers support healthy peer-to-peer communication and social interaction?

  11. Do teachers play with the children to facilitate learning?

  12. How much of the day is devoted to play? How is play guided (if at all) to promote learning?



Things to Observe on a Daycare Tour


Sometimes being able to observe is even more powerful than hearing the responses to questions. So I would request a tour and look for:


  1. Observe adult/children interaction and children/children interactions - are they positive? Do adults get on the child's level to talk to them?

  2. Observe admin/teacher interaction - you want your teachers to be treated well and feel supported by the admin (as much as you can tell from observation).

  3. Look at the layout of the classroom and other areas your child will be in - can the teachers always see the children?

  4. Look at the toys and equipment inside and outside of the facility - are they safe? Are they well maintained? Are they age-appropriate?

  5. Observe the cleanliness and organization of all spaces your child will use.

  6. Observe bottle storage and food safety procedures.

  7. Observe sleep spaces - are they following safe sleep guidelines? Are the spaces clean and well-maintained?

  8. Observe the classroom walls, shelves, and display areas. Are people from diverse backgrounds represented? Are colorful pictures displayed? Are real-life pictures or animals displayed? Is children's artwork displayed at their eye level?

  9. Observe play spaces - are there a variety of materials within the children's reach without needing help? Is there a space where children can relax and take a break? Is there a space that encourages play?

  10. Observe safety and security throughout the center (inside and outside).


Want a printable version of these questions to take with you on your daycare tours? Click below!



Summary


Finding a childcare provider can be super stressful, especially for new moms. My son started daycare at 5 months old and I cried after coming home from dropping him off. I also experienced anxiety about what was happening at daycare (we were not allowed in past the lobby due to COVID and I felt like I had no idea what was happening). I wish I had asked more questions at the time.


I highly recommend touring a few different childcare providers and asking a ton of questions so that you will feel comfortable dropping your child off each day. Remember to trust your instincts! The tours give you an opportunity to see the environment and meet the people your child will spend a significant amount of time with. It gives you an opportunity to get a gut feeling about a place. Asking questions can make sure you know what will be happening each day and help you feel comfortable with the provider and facility. I hope this list of questions helps you!


Remember Mama, you are doing a great job! You got this!


Sources and More Resources to Check Out:


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Having a child with allergies can be tough. Having some useful information can make it a little easier to manage.


Parker had a milk intolerance when he was in the NICU and in the early months of his life. Since I was providing breastmilk, this meant that I had to completely remove milk from my diet. I had never had allergies before and I quickly realized how challenging it is.


Parker has since grown out of his milk intolerance, but he is allergic to garlic and eggs. I have found garlic in particular to be a difficult allergen to avoid because it is so many pre-prepared foods and foods at restaurants. But I am lucky because Parker's allergic reaction is not life-threatening, he just has eczema break out. I can only imagine how scary it is to have a child with a life-threatening allergy as it can be very difficult to avoid allergens. I hope some of the tips below may be helpful though no matter what allergy and reaction your child may have.


How do I recognize if my child has a food allergy?


Parker's allergies showed up in two forms. When he was in the NICU, we found his milk allergy after he had blood in his stool. We found his garlic and egg allergies once he started eating solids. He was having eczema breakouts and his face would often turn red after eating.


According to Johns Hopkins Health, the following our symptoms of an allergy to look out for:


Note: Some allergies do go through breast milk, so your child could be having an allergic reaction to something you are consuming.

  • Hives

  • Asthma

  • Itching or swelling of the lips, tongue, or mouth

  • Trouble Breathing

  • Stomach Pains

  • Vomiting

  • Diarrhea

  • Cramps

  • Eczema

  • Swelling

  • Difficulty Breathing

  • Wheezing

  • Lowered blood pressure

How will the doctor diagnose an allergy?


According to Cedars-Sinai, the skin prick test is the most common allergy test. They will poke or scratch your child and if an allergy exists a bump will appear. Blood tests can also be done to determine if your child has an allergen. Neither test can show what your child's reaction will be. The allergist may also do a food challenge test where the allergist gives your child a small amount of the food orally to observe their reaction - this is usually done to see if your child might have outgrown an allergy.


For us, Parker's doctor started with a skin prick test and then ended up doing a blood test after we continued to have issues with his face turning red. My biggest advice with this from my personal experience is to keep following up and pursuing answers if you feel there is an issue. After the skin prick test, he tested negative but his face kept turning red. So we had to go through the individual foods causing issues with the doctor and have her order the specific blood test for those foods. Once we found the issue, we saw an immediate improvement in his skin. If your child is having a reaction, I recommend writing down the foods causing an issue.


If you are concerned that your child has an allergy, contact your doctor for a diagnosis.


Unfortunately, there are no cures for allergies. Your child (and/or you if breastfeeding) just have to avoid the food.


There are 9 allergens that cause 90% of allergies: milk, eggs, wheat, soy, tree nuts, peanuts, fish, sesame, and shellfish.



Tips for grocery shopping:




It can be hard with busy schedules to make every meal from scratch for your children. That is not something I do, I rely heavily on buying at least some components of a meal ready to go. So I have learned I have to be careful at the grocery store to read the food label.


One good thing about your child having one of the nine major allergies is that they are labeled on pre-packaged foods at the bottom and are usually easy to find online at chain restaurants. It's a bit harder if looking for an allergen that is not one of the major nine.



According to the FDA, there is a law that requires most foods to be clearly (in simple to understand language) labeled when they are made with a major food allergen. And so even ingredients that you would not immediately know are labeled clearly, for example, lecithin will be labeled as soy. It will be labeled in one of two ways:

  1. in parenthesis following the name of the ingredient: lecithin (soy) OR

  2. Immediately after or next to the list of ingredients in a "contains" statement (as pictured above).


It is important to note that not all products have the "contains" statement, so be sure to read the ingredients list. If not in a "contains" statement, it will say the major allergen (simply) somewhere in the list.


Another important note: Sesame became a major allergen in 2021, and it did not go into effect until January 1, 2023 - so it is possible to find products that do not list it as an allergen on the label - so double-check.


You may be shopping and notice that some packages say "Contain" and some packages say "May Contain," and you may wonder what is the difference?


"Contains" means the allergen is used in the ingredients. "May Contain" means that trace amounts of an allergen may be in the product because they make products with that ingredient in the same facility or on the same equipment (and they are concerned that even after cleaning the equipment there may be trace amounts). It is important to know that manufacturers are not required to put a "May Contain" statement, this is completely voluntary.


You can find helpful information and things to be aware of for one of the major nine allergens on the Food Allergy & Anaphylaxis Connection Team site. It gives excellent allergen-specific tips and foods to avoid including unexpected foods.

 

If you are shopping for someone with an allergy that is not one of the major nine allergens, you want to carefully review all packaging. Check everything because sometimes there are ingredients you would not take expect in an item. I also recommend looking at the ingredients on things you have checked and bought before. I served my son something he has had dozens of times and he turned red. Come to find out, the ingredients had changed.


If your child has an allergy to a spice (like garlic) it can be very frustrating to find out that many companies simply write "spices" on their ingredient list (I have found this usually means it has garlic in it). If you are ever not sure, err on the side of caution and don't buy it. I know it is super frustrating!


I recommend doing some research if your child has an allergy that is not one of the major nine allergens. Luckily my child's allergy is not severe, but I found that many people with a garlic allergy are also allergic to similar ingredients like onions, chives, leeks, and shallots. We have not seen any reaction to these ingredients yet, but since we know this is fairly common for people with a garlic allergy, we can be on the lookout for any reaction that may develop.


If there is no food label on something you are shopping for, it is recommended that you do not buy it or feed it to your child who has an allergen.


It is also a good practice to teach your child how to read a label from an early age. And teach them not to share food as soon as you can.


Cooking at Home


For my family, my little one is still very young and goes to bed early, which means he often eats before me and my husband do. This makes it easy for us to serve him something other than what we are eating when needed. But I always have easy and safe items for him in the freezer and pantry - dino nuggets, garlic-free meatballs, canned veggies, etc. This way, I always have something safe for him to eat that he likes.


I will also often make a small second batch of what I am cooking for him that does not include garlic. That way we can still have the seasoning we like and he can eat the same thing minus the garlic. For example, I made chili for dinner last night - before I add chili seasoning, I pull some out and cook it in a separate pot then make him chili seasoning from scratch so I can leave out the garlic powder.


According to FAACT, some other things to consider (particularly for severe allergies):

  • Will the allergen be allowed in the house?

  • Does there need to be an allergen-free shelf in the pantry and fridge?

  • How will you handle cooking on shared appliances (toasters, microwaves, etc.)

  • Be sure to communicate your house rules with all guests


Tips for Eating Out





Depending on where you are dining out and what your child's allergy is, it can be difficult to find options. For instance, we have found garlic to be a tough one to avoid at many restaurants, and often the server does not know what items do not have garlic. I hope the information and tips below will help though.


According to Food Allergy Research and Education (FARE) there are several tips to consider when going to eat out:


  • There are certain restaurants that are at a higher risk for children with food allergies because there is more likely to be cross-contamination:

    • Buffets

    • Bakeries

    • Restaurants that serve pre-made foods

    • If the restaurant uses your allergen in many foods (i.e. peanuts are widely used in Asian cuisine, fish allergies will be difficult to avoid in a seafood restaurant)

    • Serve a lot of fried foods - many restaurants use the same fryer for all foods


If you are planning ahead, call the restaurant:

  • Ask to speak to the manager

  • Choose a time (to call and visit) that is not their busiest time

  • Check the menu online to see food options

  • Bring a Chef Card - this is a card that lists your allergens so the chef knows the allergen and to avoid cross-contamination - you can find a template here

  • Be prepared with an epi-pen or other medication in case an accident happens


Once you are in the restaurant:

  • Wipe down the table before sitting your child down

I pretty much always have sanitizing wipes in my purse/diaper bag and I wipe down the table and high chair as soon as we arrive. My little guy is a pandemic baby, so some of that stems from my fear of germs, but it is also a good way to clean off any allergen particles that may be on the table.

  • Always tell the server (and maybe a manager too) about the allergy, present your chef card

This is absolutely necessary and a mistake my family has made. In an effort to not be "difficult," I decided I would choose something that I didn't think would have garlic, but of course, it turned out that it did. So my husband and I realized we always need to tell them there is an allergy. We also find that often the server does not know the ingredients and will try to guess, sometimes you need to tell them to please go ask or to bring the manager over so you can be clear and get accurate information.

  • Keep it as simple as possible to avoid errors

We try not to make any extra substitutions or changes, so the focus is on avoiding the allergen.

  • Avoid fried foods

Most fried foods are all cooked in the same fryer and oil.

  • Beware of desserts

Often desserts have hidden allergens. Also, many restaurants do not make dessert there, so they may not know the included allergens.

  • Don't assume you know what the ingredients are

Recently, I wanted to treat my little one to a trip to get ice cream, which we had never done before. I assumed there would not be garlic or eggs in the ice cream. After his face turned red, I researched and found that some ice cream does in fact have eggs in it. So, always ask!

  • If you have a great experience, let the staff know!

It is a good idea to reward those who are being careful to make sure you have an enjoyable and safe experience.

  • Sometimes it is easiest to bring food for your child

I have brought a lunch box with food for my little one to eat at a restaurant before. This way my husband and I get to enjoy the food we want and we do not have to fear him getting an allergen in his food.



If you are eating at a chain restaurant, you can usually find an allergen menu online that at least lists the major allergens. Sometimes finding an ingredients list is more of a challenge. Many chain restaurants prepare and cook items the same, so this can be a good option when traveling. But always do your research! When I was avoiding milk, I was shocked to realize how many fast food items include milk, and because we were constantly driving to go to the NICU we were eating a lot of fast food. I ate a lot of Burger King because they were one of the few options I could eat.



Allergies at School





My little one goes to a daycare that provides food. At first, we provided all of the food because of his allergies. We eventually worked it out for them to provide the food, but it does mean he eats the same thing often because they have to make a lot of substitutions. It also means he is often eating something different from his peers, so his teachers have to be careful he doesn't grab other food on the table.


Some things to think about if your child has an allergy and goes to daycare or school:

According to Kids with Food Allergies and The National Center for Safe and Supportive Learning Environments, there are a few ways to help you manage your child's allergy at school:

  • Communication is essential - talk to your child's teacher, administrators, and those involved in the food portion of your child's day.

  • Timing - contact the school before your child begins to make any needed arrangements

  • Ask questions - how will they manage the allergy, what safe practices do they use, etc.

  • Have a care plan - be sure everyone knows what is needed if your child is in contact with their allergen

  • Teach your child age-appropriate skills for managing their allergy:

    • Not sharing food

    • Reading labels

    • How to use their epi-pen

    • Handwashing

    • Signs and symptoms they are having an allergic reaction

    • How to communicate to an adult they are having a reaction

  • Discuss allergy-safe seating arrangements

  • Discuss steps they will take to prevent and manage any food allergy-related bullying

  • Discuss hand-washing procedures

  • If your child will be riding the bus, how will they avoid their allergen on the bus (discuss this with the school even if they do not ride the bus daily, because they may end up using buses for field trips)

One Last Note


One challenge that may arise from an allergen is that your child may not be able to eat what other kids are eating. My little guy is not even two yet, so this is not yet a problem. However, I started thinking about it when we were at a birthday party this weekend and he could not eat the pizza that every other child was eating. So though this may change as he gets older and I have to navigate this more, my plan to deal with these situations are:

  • Prepare my child ahead of time - discuss that there will be food everyone else is eating, but that he can't eat.

  • Communicate with the parents or person in charge of food ahead of time - I can plan to provide him with something similar to what other children are eating.

  • Provide other foods he likes better anyways when possible.

Luckily, he was perfectly happy to eat goldfish while the other children ate pizza. But I know this likely won't last when he gets older.


If you have tips for dealing with these situations, I would love to read them in the comments!


Resources to Check Out


If you have questions and/or need more information, talk to your child's doctor.


Remember Mama, you are doing a great job! You got this!




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