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I have found that for my marriage, my husband and I need date nights.
Last night, we went to our local community theatre's production of Clue and it was so much fun! The play itself was entertaining and I loved being able to support the arts in my local community. Additionally, the performers and theatre staff/volunteers were so awesome and so appreciative that we were there supporting them.
We have decided that date nights are one way we can make our relationship a priority amidst busy lives and parenting. Most of our date nights are comprised of dinner and an activity of some kind. We enjoy varying our dates nights each month, so we get to enjoy a variety of experiences together.
How and why we prioritize date night in our relationship:
One night a month we get a babysitter and go do something just the two of us. It is awesome and necessary. We would love to go more, but by the time you pay for the sitter, dinner, and entertainment, it gets expensive. So we have made our monthly date night a priority by working a date night line into our family budget.
It can be so difficult to find a trusted babysitter. Personally, I have felt that finding someone to watch the absolute most precious thing in the world to me is terrifying. It's hard not to think about all of the what-ifs. But we got lucky and have found an awesome sitter for our little one. My tip if you are looking for a great sitter is to ask friends/family/coworkers if they have someone they trust who might be willing to babysit for you as well. You can also try your childcare provider if applicable.
About a year ago, I realized that night that date night needed to be a regular occurrence because it gave me and my husband an opportunity to connect - uninterrupted adult time was glorious and we know we need to cultivate our relationship outside of the baby. We don't want to wake up one day and realize that the only thing that connects us is our child. For us, that means scheduling an intentional date night for just the two of us.
Since we only get to go out one night a month, we try to vary our plans. I find that these fun date nights connect us more than if we just do the same dinner out every time. So I'm sharing some of the great date activities we have done or have planned in the future. I hope you find something you and your significant other would love to do too!
Date Night Ideas
Every couple is different so think about what will give you and your significant other an opportunity to connect. It helps me to think about some things we liked to do before kids. A lot of the activities are things kids enjoy too but can be hard to really enjoy yourself when you are managing little ones.
You can also take turns planning date night!
Dinner and a movie - a classic, we don't do this very often, which makes it more fun when we do decide to go to the theater. I prefer the ones that have big cushy recliner chairs because if I am going to watch a movie I want to be comfy.
Minor League Baseball - We have lived in cities with fun minor league teams over the years we have been together. We have found these games to be fairly affordable, they often have good food, fun mascots, they try hard to make the games fun for everyone, and you can talk while watching sports and having a beer. Plus they have fun promotional nights!
Minor League hockey - Similar to the minor league baseball games, these can be so much fun. They often have fun promotional nights (including nights that support charities!)
Putt Putt/mini golf - my husband and I did this on our third date and then it kind of became our thing. We always have so much fun!
Concert - most recently my husband bought us tickets to Chris Stapleton, who sings our first dance song, as an anniversary gift. But I know there are a number of local venues in my community that have live music, and it's an affordable and fun date night.
Brewery & Board Games - pre-kid, we loved playing board games and we haven't played much recently. One night we went to a local brewery for dinner and then pulled out board games to play there. We had so much fun with this low-key activity and the brewery didn't mind because we kept buying drinks.
Bowling - This can be surprisingly fun, especially if you have a nice bowling alley. Have a friendly competition between you and your spouse, maybe grab a beer, and just relax and enjoy. If your bowling alley offers it, you can even play some arcade games after.
Arcade - my community has Dave and Buster's, a pinball arcade, and more. And it's a blast to just go play games without the responsibility of keeping up with your kid.
Top Golf/X-golf - if you have one in your area, this is a fun active date night even if golf is not your jam. These places gamify the experience so if you like to compete, it's a good time. The food and drinks are also pretty decent if you want to eat there.
Trivia Night- most of these are during the week in my experience, but if you can get out on a weeknight, it's so much fun! At one point in our relationship, my husband and I would do trivia weekly, so it was a blast to get to reconnect over something we used to do a lot. We also named our trivia team "parents night out," which many other participants seemed to appreciate.
Charity Event - we spent a lot of time in the NICU with Parker and we love to support this cause. They hold an annual fundraising event each year, and so we got to get dressed up and go support something important to us. We didn't really mind spending money on it because we knew it was supporting the cause. It also gave us a chance to meet other parents who support the same cause and have had a similar experience to ours.
Visit a museum or botanical garden - We are members of the botanical garden and the primary museum in our area because they are great places to visit with our little one. Because of that, I get their emails and both do events occasionally in the evening for adults. These are fun events to support local institutions and see some of our favorite spots in a new light.
Do Something Artsy - Wine & Design, Paint Pottery, etc.- Many towns have a local pottery painting or wine & design store where you can go be artsy together as a couple. The staff are generally prepared for people who have no artistic talent, and so it is fun for everyone. I like taking our son to do artsy things, but I always want to do it myself with the time to be detail oriented when completing my project.
Check out your local art gallery - spend time walking around and actually discussing the art. Pair this with a nice dinner out and you can end your evening feeling a little more cultured than you did at the start of the evening.
Have a picnic - Find a local park that would be lovely to spend time in the evening and pack a picnic. My community has some amazing parks, and I am content to sit outside with my husband and picnic while watching the world go by and having a conversation. (Though this one might have to wait until spring in many places.)
Find a local festival or community event - One evening last summer my husband and I went to this random festival I had found online happening in our community. I didn't really know what to expect, but we ended up having a great time. Many cities regularly have festivals and events that are fun to go to with kids, but sometimes are even more fun without.
Dinner and axe throwing - Not sure when Axe throwing became a thing, but it apparently is - our city has multiple venues to throw axes. We have never done this, but I have always wanted to. Mix it up and throw some axes with your spouse one night.
Find a speakeasy - A number of cities now have bars that resemble an old-fashioned speakeasy. The one where I live is awesome. I had to make a reservation and they emailed me the location and the password. Once there, we were in a tiny bar with excellent staff and a generally fun environment. We had some of the best cocktails I have ever had there as well.
College Sports Event - Division 1 schools with large, successful programs are fun. I have been to a number of these and I always have a great time. But so are small D2 and D3 sporting events at smaller schools. For these events, the tickets tend to be much cheaper or free and they try hard to show the crowd a good time.
Local Theatre Production - And we have come full circle. My husband and I had a great time at our local theatre's production of Clue last night. It's a great way to support the arts in your local community and try something different for date night.
I really encourage you and your significant other to find a way to have a date night. We all need to have time away from kids and build our relationships outside of our children. I personally like to experience a wide variety of date nights and I hope this list maybe gave you an idea... just in time for Valentine's Day.
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