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Does your baby/toddler constantly throw things on the floor? Mine certainly does and we are trying to teach him that we only throw balls or things designed to be thrown (but that is a hard concept!). It can be so frustrating, but there is a reason babies and toddlers throw things.
You are likely to see throwing between 18 months and 3 years of age (roughly).
Why are they throwing?
Discovering cause and effect
Our babies and toddlers are figuring the world out. So they may be throwing things just to see what happens.
Their emotions are not regulated
Babies and toddlers do not have impulse control (this part of their brain has not yet developed) and so when they have big feelings, throwing things may feel like the best way to express that feeling.
It is fun
They are enjoying throwing things to see what happens and to get your attention!
They are testing limits
Toddlers are learning what is okay and not okay, and it will take many tests for them to learn.
What To Do:
Stay calm
Your child will not be able to co-regulate their emotions if you are not calm. And if you are not calm, it may amp them up as well.
Understand the why
Is your child throwing because it is fun? Are they throwing to learn? Are they throwing because they are experiencing big feelings? It is important to know the answer to know how to respond.
Don't take it personally
It is frustrating, but it is not personal. When you take it personally, it is harder to stay calm.
When your toddler is calm, talk to them about why they should not throw things
Take a few minutes to help them understand why throwing things (especially at people) is not okay. It is super important that you and your child are both calm and connected during this discussion. Keep in mind it may take multiple talks (they are still learning language!)
Provide and model safe ways to express their feelings
It is okay for your child to have big feelings and it is important to let them feel those feelings, but they need to do it safely. So provide and practice safe ways to feel (ex. calm bottle, pushing against the wall, provide room to run around, provide clay to knead, etc.)
Set boundaries
Explain that some things are okay to throw and some things are not. Also be sure to set boundaries about where throwing is okay (we can throw the ball outside, but inside we do not).
Give natural consequences
When your child throws (or is preparing to throw) take away the toy and replace it with an okay toy to throw or redirect to another activity. Explain why - "That toy is hard, you could accidentally hurt someone or break something."
Provide many opportunities for appropriate throwing
Throwing things is developmentally appropriate. Be sure to give your little ones lots of opportunities to play with acceptable inside-throwing toys or playing outside with items they are allowed to throw.
Be patient
It takes time! Keep working with your child and teaching them and they will learn (and outgrow) throwing random objects.
Remember Mama, you are doing a great job! You got this!
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