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When your child is going through a phase of biting it can be challenging. It can lead to a lot of questions for parents. Is it normal? Should I be concerned? How do I respond? How do I get them to stop? I have done some research to help provide answers to the questions below!
(As always, if you have questions though, you should ask your child's pediatrician!)
For babies and toddlers, biting is very normal. So don't panic!
Why?
There are a number of reasons why a baby or toddler may bite, including:
It's instinctive because they have not yet developed self-control
Teething
Exploring a new toy or object
Learning cause-and-effect (and see the reaction)
To get attention
To express their feelings
To access an item
Satisfy a need for oral-motor stimulation
Act in Self-defense
To feel powerful
Oftentimes, biting is the result of not having sufficient language skills to express themselves. It is more common to see biting in boys and most often happens between ages one and two. Biting tends to decrease as children develop the language skills needed to communicate.
How to Prevent Biting:
You may not be able to fully prevent biting, but these strategies may help:
Age-appropriate expectations
Consistent schedules and routines - young children thrive when they know what will happen next
Provide relaxing activities for your child
Provide items to bite such as teething rings
Make sure your child feels protected and not "picked on"
How Caregivers Should Respond:
There should be a zero-tolerance biting policy at all times and in all places (home, daycare, car rides, on outings, etc.) If your child does bite, you should deal with it immediately.
Stay Calm - this is important to keep the situation calm and resolve it as quickly as possible
Be firm - Say "No biting!" or "Biting hurts!" firmly, but without yelling. Do not give a long explanation as a baby or toddler won't understand it. Also, keeping it short leaves little room for interpretation. Saying "We don't bite our friends!" makes it sound like biting someone who is not a friend is okay.
Comfort the victim - if there is an injury clean it with soap or water (or seek medical attention if needed)
Comfort your child - your child may not understand that biting hurts, so it is okay to comfort them. If they are an older toddler, they may benefit from being allowed to comfort the friend they bit. However, if your child is using biting to get attention, you do not want to reinforce this behavior.
Discuss appropriate expression - once the situation is calmed down discuss how your child could have better expressed themselves, such as using words like, "no," or "stop." It may be helpful to name their feelings if they were biting to communicate a strong feeling such as anger or frustration.
Redirect to a more positive activity - if emotions are running high, it may be time to redirect them to a more positive activity like coloring, dancing, playing a game, or playing outside.
DO NOT bite your child because this teaches them that biting is okay.
If biting continues,
Discuss with other caregivers to make sure everyone is responding to biting consistently and appropriately
Use time-out (one minute per year of age)
Observe your child to see if you can determine the cause of biting
Observe their signals and step in if they are about to bite
Suggest and model appropriate communication
Reinforce positive behavior
Provide opportunities for your child to make choices and feel empowered
Be sure your expectations are age appropriate (if they are not, it can cause stress, which can cause biting)
Offer foods with a variety of textures to meet sensory needs
Practice boundary words with your child, such as "no," and "stop"
Try other media such as books and songs that deal with the issue
Strategies for Caregivers to Avoid:
Labeling your child as a "biter"
Biting your child back
Getting angry, yelling, or shaming
Giving too much attention after a biting situation
Forcing a biter and bitee to play together
Punishment - this could lead to embarrassment and defiance instead of teaching self-control
When Should I Be Concerned?
By the time your child is around age 3 or 4, biting should have stopped, so you may want to contact your child's pediatrician. Other times to call a doctor:
Biting seems excessive
Biting seems to be getting worse
Biting happens with other upsetting behaviors
Even if your child is not showing these particular behaviors and is not yet three of four, if you are concerned you should talk to your child's pediatrician!
Remember Mama, you are doing a great job! You got this!
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